Brokenness

Brokenness

She had everything she wanted.  At least she thought she did.

Leaving behind a home that was dysfunctional, and at times very unhappy, she strained to capture the life dreamed about.  Just 17 years old, a head full of dreams and a calling from the God she served, life would be wonderful now.  There was no comprehension of where the life journey would take her, but she was ready to go.

People in her high school told her she was not college material, look for something else. No, she was going to college, she would prove them wrong. If they said she couldn’t do it, she would prove them wrong.

The day her acceptance letter came she knew all she wanted would come true.  The next 4 years would prove life would be challenging.  A love lost, a broken heart, lack of funds, illness were just a few of the hurdles that needed to be conquered.  Graduation could not have been sweeter.  The new love of her life by her side, married life started, it was all coming together. 

It is a good thing that you can’t always see the future because you would never want to go there. The two of them, husband and wife, launched out into the calling they longed to fulfill.  No idea that the path they chose would bring so many challenges.  Yes, there were victories that allowed them to cling to hope but the trials often seemed to outweigh those victories. 

Multiple moves, various churches, good jobs, bad jobs and choices made.  All these things were a part of her life journey.  In all of these, there were the mountain top experiences and the valleys of discouragement. It was like the line in in Andre Crouch’s song – “Through It All,” she had truly learned to trust in Jesus.

Still on her journey she is amazed at where she is.  This time of life is not as frenetic and there is time to contemplate.  The kids are grown with lives of their own and often days of reflection keep her company. 

“What have I learned?” It is the good times, and spiritual victories that sustained her, but it was in the broken places, the disappointments, betrayals, loss of friends and other things to numerous to say, she found growth and spiritual lessons.  It is easy to serve God when everything is great but when her life was broken, and all hope seemed lost she found the reality of God’s love and the faithfulness of His promises. 

Brokenness and trials though hard and difficult to understand is what forges the person that God has called you to be.  You become the vessel, that is fit for the Master’s service.

A line from an old hymn says it all.  “Take me master, break me, use me.” 

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